Updated: Mar 8
hiring a mentor can be intimidating. Sometimes knowing the right questions to ask doesn't come easy.
Here are a few tips on knowing who and when to hire a mentor.
In my work, being a woman that works primarily with men, I'm used to answering questions about relationships, spirituality and things such as that. But there is more to working with a mentor than just the surface of how they can help you get from a to b.
One of the most common questions i'm asked is "how can i guarantee things will change for me?"
the thing is - i can't. As with any mentor, coach, therapist, etc.. we teach you the tools for changing your life; i help you discover the hidden parts of you need to be healed and how to transform. Ultimately, the work is up to you. What happens during and after working with a mentor is up to you!
Tip #1 - Asking the right questions..
You want to know that this person that you're about to hire is worthy of your energy and your time, right? I mean, let's be real for a moment - you're about to hire them, so, ask questions that are relevant to you and your needs. What is the one thing that YOU feel needs to be healed/changed/transformed.. ask how their services will get you there.
Tip #2 - Explain more.
When seeking the advice of a mentor, be sure that they are aware of what your desired outcome is. They should ask, but if not, make sure you speak for yourself. Not all mentors will know or offer what you need unless they fully understand what your needs are and how to meet them.
"a mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself." – oprah winfrey
Tip #3 - Listen to your gut.
Too often people trust the first thing they're told without question, only to feel let down with unsatisfactory endings.
A true mentor wants you to rise to the top and will do everything they can to help you get there, even if that means standing on their shoulders to see your light and find your voice. Your success is their success. Remember that! If you don't feel lit up by what they offer, do your research before committing to anything. You are the priority.
Tip #4 - Ask for examples.
If they're like me, i take confidentiality very seriously, so sharing client information is not an option, BUT i do, however, expect to give clients examples of previous client experiences in the form of testimonials and such. If the door is open for you to explore their previous work, i would assumed that they operate in full transparency and honesty. But, again, use your own discretion to feel into what's available.
Tip #5 - Allow the Mentor to teach you.
I get it, really.. asking for help is a huge step and sometimes an uncomfortable one, but allowing the mentor to help you is another step. They are not one in the same. In my personal experience, I have had clients who go through the process of the "interview", spend time inside the mentorship, and at the end are unhappy that I didn't "fix" them. there isn't a mentor, coach, or anyone else who can do it for you. if you commit to moving in this direction, you have to be willing to allow them to help and by helping yourself. No one can make you feel better, but a mentor can help you find your way there.
Tip #6 - Know when to ask for help.
how often have you thought about getting help, asking for advice, something of the sort, yet you talk yourself out of it for one reason or another.. here's how to know it's time to stop making excuses and get help - when you're tired of the BS surrounding your life. what you're feeling is legit and unique to you. I can't tell you when to ask for help, but i can tell you this... when it's heavy, ask for help. When feels too it much, ask for help. When you don't see the light possible for you, ask for help. There are countless mentors and others waiting to help you. So many people want to cheer you on and be your shoulder, holding space for you while you do the work - let them. do you know what that moment is called? courage.
A mentor is the co-pilot in your healing experience.
you've made it this far and are reading this because hiring a mentor is something you have or are considering. i promise that finding the right mentor for you will be a life changing experience.